First Time

Well, today was the very first time I gave blood! Woo-hoo! And the thing about feeling dizzy and that it hurts, well it did not happen to me! Praise the Lord. Hopefully with this, I get to save lives. I know it is not much but hey, I'm proud of myself for doing it. And today was a double bonus as I finally know that I am B+. Haha. 

Anyways, besides that, I am at least the 4th rarest blood type. I feel so special right now. =D This LENT I want to help more in the community, see what can be done to make a difference. Quite a big task for me but bring it on! Heh. That's all for now. Assignments here I come again! PREPARE FOR DOOM!!!

Wishes and Dreams

Well, since tomorrow IS Chinese New Year and Valentine's Day. I wish you readers out there a happy prosperous loving day! Uhrm, yeah, that sounds about right. All you married people out there, please remember to give me an angpow k? =D Haha. Enjoy, guys!

Thoughts...

I really should make my blog creative. Bu then again, simplicity is at its best, ain't it? And it makes like so much easier... But then, it can be boring. But I think my blog is cool. Don't you? Ah, don't answer that, cause I already know the answer. OF COURSE YOU DO!!! =D

I woke up with my flu being even worse than before, I'm coughing out phlegm and it is all stuck in my throat. The unimmaginable tightness it there all the time and I currently lost my voice. Plus, sore throat. And guess what, Chinese New Year is around the corner and all I want to do is sleep. Haih. Life is life, isn't it? I think the heat is fighting with my body and resulted in a large collision - BOOOMMM! Ah, well.. just another sick day. 

Besides that, I am really worried for my oldest dog, Princess. Her tail which used to be fluffy and full is now shedding and frail. I literally can see her skin. Before that, I couldn't even touch her skin on the tail cause there was just so much hair. Haih, I'm really worried for her. She is old but I really don't want her to fall sick so soon. I love her a lot. As for Angel, well, she is just being herself, running here and there, not giving a care in the world and genuinely happy to see me. I love her loads too... =) My dogs are one of the best things in my life. When no one is around and I hang out with them, they know my emotions and feel accordingly. They are my babies and I'm dreading the day they will be no more.

It's this time of night...

It is times like this which I know I will regret in the morning,
It is when my mind starts to wander off, thinking about what if
It is when I go into overdrive and insomnia hits me with a loud THUMP
It is when my real emotions come out
It is when I start regretting and living in the past again
It is when I ask myself, why is it that everyone else can have a good life, but not me...

Whatever happened to the good friends I had?
What happened to the love and acceptance I felt last time?
Why is it that nothing good ever last?
Why is this life filled with more pain than joy?
More hate than love?
More regrets than good memories?

It is this time of the night,
When I think I'm all alone in this world
It is this time of the night,
When I think that no one cares
That I am not special enough for anyone to appreciate
That if anything were to happen to me, no one would notice...

And when I want to give it all up and wallow in sorrow
I hear a voice in my head and It is saying, 'It's not that bad',
Urging me to smile, cheering me on,
asking me not to give up and fall
Telling me not to be afraid,
Reminding me that there is always people that will love me for who I am...

It is this time of the night,
When I know that God is with me...
Reminding me that with Him there's love.
That with Him, I know that life would be just fine
It is this time of the night,
When I end the day with a smile,
knowing that I have achieve something in life,
enough to be blessed to feel God's love

Ending your day with a smile just makes all the day's trials worthwhile and less tedious. 

I love you guys for being there for me, for caring for me, for accepting me for what and who I am, without complaining and shunning me, for loving me. Thanks a lot for making me who I am today and I'm proud to say that even though life is not always a bed of roses, I can end my day with a smile BECAUSE OF YOU...

Sharon & Aaron's Wedding

It was an awesome event. It started off with the church service and it was beautiful. The both of them were glowing with radience and beauty! There are no words that can explain the whole day cause it is too hard to describe the joy and hapiness through words.

Adeline had a solo for Bapa yang Kekal and it was great. Besides that, the ceremony was fitting and the song selection was excellent. Pretty much, I really don't know how to blog about this but I can show nearly all the pictures. Heh. I think I am still in lazy mode. =P

The dinner was great, not the typical chinese food in weddings (which I despise), but mamak food. NASI KANDAR! It was one of the best weddings I've been to. But then again, this is my very first wedding invatation to a friend's wedding. How awesome. Was sitting in the same table as Ian, David, Ken, my sis and others. Including Pat dear and Ben, Carmel and Cassie and Oliver. We were sitting at the back but the table next to us were all youths. Therefore, we had a good time cheering A&S on! I can safely say that we were the noisiet bunch there is! HAH! Beat that. Later on in the night, the dance floor was open and the first dance we danced to was a waltz. You can imagine the surprise in the adult's faces. As if saying, "Where on earth did they learn to do that?". We danced to the likes of chacha, salsa and indian music. So it was so fun and by the night came to a close, our feet were aching, bodies tired, hearts filled with joy and faces showing our hapiness. Thanks, Aaron and Sharon for the invite and the awesome fun we had! Some pics...

Congratulations to the both of you. May your years filled with God's blessing and remember the three part harmony. The both of you indeed make a GREAT couple and may the love be with you throughout your life.

Empty Promises

Even if I tell you that things are alright, I would be lying, majorly. Of course things aren't the same. You've change to become what you are today, and I've changed and followed my own path. I am ready to give all to God, follow His ways and feel His love, but are you? It is up to you on how you decide to live your life. And I can tell you first hand (no sugar-coating) that you are different now then you were before. And I think I was more comfortable with the previous you. Yes, all the late night chats are missed dearly but you have your own life now. I don't think that your life can include the likes of me.

Yes, I know that I've promised to try to salvage what is left with this broken friendship but I can't. It is too hard and the demands are too high for me right now. You like things this way, but I like things that way. Your feelings are like that, mine are the complete opposite. And what really hurt is that, even if you said you've tried, it wasn't enough. There wasn't any messages till you come running when there is trouble. Besides being there for you, when I needed you, you weren't there. Others were. And honestly, that just made me lose confidence in you. Since you already posted your views, this is mine. I think people aren't dumb enough to not know that this is between you and me. But since it is already like that, it is irreversable. 

Whatever I've said about you before, was done in anger and disappointment and they got the best of me. When they say that the worst enemy is the mouth, I can safely agree. That happened when I was shocked into seeing that you've changed since school. And I guess I wasn't ready to face that. I don't think I still am ready to face.

It is never that simple. But it is not hard for I don't have to be in your shoes to figure out. You made your decision long ago and everytime I asked, you weren't there. Everytime I called you, you didn't pick up. When I was in need, you couldn't be found. This is how I feel, felt and still feeling. And so, I assumed that you already chose. The choice is not hard, actually. Love before friends. I am not upset that you chose him, more upset by the fact that you only came to me, to talk to me when you and him were on the rocks. I felt used. Like that's all I am to you. When there is hapiness in your life, you don't even contact me. But when you are in trouble, you come back. I was willing to tolerate the first few times, but it got so taxing. And it was me that use to start conversation, call you and talk to you. You never once took the iniative to call me, and I had to call you everytime. When you were hurt, I called. But what about the times when I was hurt? I really HATE it when I am the one that looks like she is supposed to call first. EVERYTIME. Tell me honestly, how often did you call me just to chat compared to the ratio of me calling you for the exact same reason. 

I still love you, way deep down in my heart. People, my friends, are wondering why I still hold on to this friendship. I am starting to wonder too. I mean, it might look like you are the only one doing all the work, but I feel it too. And I gave up. I can tell you that since December, I gave up on this friendship. I gave up in waiting in hope that you might just come and say hi. I gave up waiting for things to change. But I realised that I have changed. I know when things can last, and things won't. I'm tired of persueing them, whether love, life or friendship. If I know I have not a single chance, I forget about it. You can sum it up from here. And you not being in church does not help. How is it that I only see you when he is back, but otheriwise, you disappear? 

It's up to you to move from here. Like you said, I'm only a phonecall away. Your call, your life. I know that it is probably the worst time to post this blog. But I have to reply and no way I'm doing it through sms. 

If this is the last time we talk, I'm sorry things work out this way. But we did have a good run of our friendship. I still keep your letters and I do read them once in a while. But if it is not meant to be, what can we do about it.

HEY-Ho

Ok, many appologies for my abscence in the blog industry. As you can see, life's a bit hectic (but in truth, I am too lazy to update, but let's go with the professional answer, kay?) Ah well. Since the month of January has passed, well loads of activities have passed too. Let me think of a few from the top of my head.

• The Oyog's new year celebration - 1.1.2010
• Babe's surprise birthday dinner - 8.1.2010 (No pictures were taken by me, no evidence.)
• Sharon and Aaron's Wedding! - 9.1.2010 (Will update about that soon)
• Li Ann's birthday lunch - 12.1.2010 (Blog post will come in time)
• Orientation Day in SEGi for the newbies - 18.1.2010 (We - Owen, Do, Alvin, Eli and me, just formed an acapella group and I must say that it is quite cool. Our very first appearance was then)
• Competition in KL - 22.1.2010 (We won first placing in Best Student Performance Prize)
• Leadership Camp Fund raising Car Wash in church - 30-31.1.2010 (It was awesome and deserves another blog post when I'm free.)

That is pretty much everything that happened during the month of January. Things are gearing up for a good year. All this I thank God for. 

Besides that, I thank all the people that have touched my life. My parents that supported me all these years and my sis for being here to help me. For my friends, thanks for the awesomeness that are you guys. Happy New Year!